comment(s): 0 date: Saturday, August 15, 2009 time: Saturday, August 15, 2009
Phrase of the day
I try to comfort myself with a lie saying that im happy as long as i see you smile because the place that youre going is not towards me the lonely tears flow....
hey peeps. long time no update.hmmm. okey pple,tyme to show me new me. haha. before afterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!! hahahahahahaha. well,it took me a lot of thinking okey,ended up i did it.hahhhaha!!! mcm2 style aku this year ehkkk!! well, i think im the last one to state inside this dusty blog HAPPY SOOOO THE BELATED BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!! hahahahaha. random.okey.LOL. well,ive been pretty occupied with a lot of things nowadaes (or so i thought that i was occupied.LOL) upcoming performance this coming 23rd. urghhh!!stress!!!
ohhh ohhh ohhh updating time!!! last sat(8th aug),performed at punggol,hip hop performance. FIRST TIME IN MY WHOLE LIFE LA EHHKK, cock up upstage.kiwekkkk peng ajee!!! never in my dance life i cock up rabak like that okeyy!! but luckily hip hop theres such thing as freestyle so i cover it up by hentam freestyle.hahha kekek or wad hmm hmmm hmm??? hahhaha. okey im crazy!! den go paya lebar,eat at arnold's,saw fairuz(read:she's a GURL).she werked there. after that go karaoke,most of the song chosen were all those high pitched songs. damn,at the end of the day,suara sume serak beiiii. da mcm ELLA,ELLA penyanyi rocker tu.............................hahahaaaha! after that meet up with Masrara den i forgot wad happen...... ........ .... .. . hahahaha.okey forget it. moving on,help out Mas for putra's bdae. hahaha. last minute impromptu nyer improvisation of the cake due to some reason.(shhh!) bought durian and chocolate fudge, with a creation of a heart outside the cake using candles and wala! it was my first time after 127547958473737 years of not meeting them,(mcm bertahun gituk) finally get to lepak with them. ohhhh the feeling was awesome coz i was laughinglike fark with their jokes. damn,hahahahaha! it was fun tho reuniting with them back.
finally on wednesday, I MET UP BACK WITH THIS GURLFREN. SITI NADIAH,SI ANAK WAHID NIEEEEEEEEEE!!! hahahaha. i miss her like damn a lot. oh,atiqah was there too(cricket sound*crick...crick...crick..) so the reunion was cool,thanks to yana and nad for not making it deadddd awkward. hahaha. nadiah brought along her adeq angkat too,md.adam.oh hes sooo adorable!!! hahaha. nadiah,biler nak aerobic atao muay thai ngan akuuuu?? hahhaa.catching up about a lot of things,well i miss that a lot.hahaha. wed ni jgn bueh eh pple. aku hentak kepala korang baru taooo kalau satu satu bueh...!!
Today,no no no. i mean,yesterday.(14th aug) Met up with mas,hidayah,bao yu and boon siong. initially wanted to celebrate boon2 advnc bdae treat,but it ended up.. hmmmmmmm........... 0key,den do choreo with yana. after which mas bought food for putra and send it off to his place. LEPAK AGAIN!! oh ya mas,kurengzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!! pls ehk stop disturb me with that balloon with specs plsss!!! he aint my soulmate nor my jodoh or wadsoeva ehkkk.pls aku tkda kena mengenaaaa..!!! ahahahaha.
i thought i was alright after everything is said and done with. i call wadeva that's happening right now as the side effect of all confessions. KE SHI,WEI SHI MO??? WEI SHI MO WO PU KEN FORGET TA? (bahasa cina plak...lagi bleh joking plak sini) getting that particular msg,is like as if a knife stab me right at the heart and the blood just couldnt stop bleeding. (...keep bleeding keep keep bleeding love...) it hurts so badly that even mas was like, "gurl,why you keep smoking?Daa ahh.." oppsy, stress+pain in heart+hurt=smoke weed many many. that's all i could do man. if there's a bottle of beer or a bottle of vodka,anything related, i would alr numb myself by drinking. i stopped myself from crying,i hold back my tears as there are others ard me. i keep looking around to see if there's any place that i could just sit down and to let it out slowly on my own. But i know that even if im on my own,it would be even worse. i dont know,i get wreck up easily upon hearing this two names, Farhan & Atiqah.
Before going out today,my mum asked, "is farhan still in contact with you?" "yea."(simple and short) "he contact you about wad?" "nah just casual friend talking like that.nothing much." (wtf~!) "how is he?good?" "yea.gd."(-.-")
i dont know why but i guess parents can sense their children's emotions and feelings event thru their instincts and i guess my mum tried to reach out to me. well,thanks ibu for that concern. the power of a mum's instincts over her child's emotions is much better even tho she cant see. i dont know,going back being a bitch is totally at the bottom of the list, to hold on is an obstacle to overcome, to move on,is a great challenge in life. im stuck in between. i mean,pple have been telling me to let go to move on to let time to heal, im trying,i do. but the old saying says, trust your own instincts,because believing in it,it will actually bring you somewhere better. and my instincts say, stay here,dont go,let time will heal,insyallah things will be better. and thats why im still here. but evrytime went things happen or receive a hurtful msg or wadsoeva, i ended up being super emo that i can actually go crazy,erm,like now? urggghhhh.. life is hard,but you gotta go thru it anyway. well,i dont know. i guess upon looking at this video clip, is a music video of the song "heart,im sorry" by Lee Ji hoon(A korean singer) you guys will eventually understand that its wad im feeling right now,thats my instincts till now.
